"The Secret Diary of David Duchovny"

Being in rehearsals has kept me away from the internet for a while, but today I returned to a treasure trove of nerd finds.  The largest, strangest gem comes courtesy of The Hairpin, where Rachel Farrell has written a short piece called The Secret Diary of David Duchovny.

If you don't want to read it by virtue of the title alone, here's a picture of the Double D to change your mind:


TURTLENECK!

Still don't want to read it?  DOES A RIBBED TURTLENECK DO NOTHING FOR YOU?!

Okay, fine, here's an excerpt.

April 26, 2013

I'm watching The X-Files.  A dog is biting people in the face!  You could not catch this dog with your bare hands.

UPDATE:  A man just tried to catch the dog with his bare hands and the dog ate his hands.