If you don't want to read it by virtue of the title alone, here's a picture of the Double D to change your mind:
Still don't want to read it? DOES A RIBBED TURTLENECK DO NOTHING FOR YOU?!
Okay, fine, here's an excerpt.
April 26, 2013
I'm watching The X-Files. A dog is biting people in the face! You could not catch this dog with your bare hands.
UPDATE: A man just tried to catch the dog with his bare hands and the dog ate his hands.