Piece of Cake

As of 45 minutes ago, it's officially July.  And July is my BIRTHDAY MONTH!!

I get a whole month because I want it, okay?!

HATERS GONNA HATE.

And, for my birthday, I want this:

HATTERS GONNA (Sorting) HAT.

[via Geeks Are Sexy]

Sunday Mixtape

This week...

1. ...Eve Beauregard was Nightwing;
   
2. Yog-Sothoth was a feminist;
   
3. Deadpool killed some ponies;
   
4. Ladies kicked ass;
   
5. and Katee Sackhoff talked about Riddick.
   

SDCC: Just A Little Over Two Weeks to Go!

It's Sunday, and that calls for Confession.

Actually, I found that on Postsecret, but it's totes true for me, too!!  SDCC is just a couple weeks away, and I need to start my BEAUTY REGIMEN!!

Hey, why don't we all prep together!?  It'll be just like being back in a sorority house--group workout plans, movie screenings whilst we pedicure, crash diets, discussing outfit options, two-hour primping sessions...

I absolutely love this idea.  So, guess what, we're totally doin' it!  Day One will start tomorrow!

"Ooo!!  Project!!!"

Friday Video BONUS ROUND: Garfunkel & Oates

Today, I give you a different kind of nerd-out.

Now, I love my fantasy/scifi/superheroes/weird cartoons/horror movies from before special effects were a thing, but more than anything I love comedy.  I love to laugh, I love to watch comedy, and I love to create comedy.  I love to make people laugh!  It's like literally the best thing EVAR.  So when other people make me laugh, I want to share it with you!

I present to you "The Loophole" by Garfunkel & Oates.

Very NSFW.

"Jesus and I are tight."

[via Jezebel]

Friday Video: Game of Thrones, Buffy-Style

NAILED IT!



GAH I can't with the ending.

[via The Mary Sue]

The Most Useful Screencap I've Ever Seen

Want of the Week: Han Solo Kitty Pincushion

I had a very specific nerd out the other day.  I got to sew a part of a burlesque costume on a vintage sewing machine.

Behold!

Sew retro!

In honor of my 50s housewife freakout, this week's Want is a wee little pincushion!

Han Solo kitteh!!

[FatCatCrafts via Geeky Merch]

Kickass Kickstarter

One of my goals in life is to be totally awesome.  To that end, I make it a point to surround myself with totally awesome people.  One of those totally awesome people is Warwick Johnson, who is Kickstarting (yes, it's a verb now) a comic he wrote:  The Empty Grave: Daddy's Little Girl.

You guys, they are so close to their goal, and there are still 4 DAYS LEFT to donate.  Here's a thought!  You should donate!!

Why?  Well...

1.  The main character is not only a kickass lady, but is also "the most feared bounty hunter in the New Mexico Territory in the 1880’s."  Lady action adventure hero for the win!!

2.  There's "a den of murderers and thieves".  Which is, like, my main requirement for good entertainment.

3.  There are things called Skin-Walkers.  Which...ew.  But also creepy and mysterious!

4.  It features art by Dan Hale, who drew this:

Does anyone else confuse Ghost Rider and Ghost Writer?

5.  You'll be a patron of the arts!  Okay, guys, Zack Morris Time Out here for some real talk.  A lot of us artistic and creative peeps would be absolutely nowhere without the support of our friends and families.  Some of us are even lucky enough to have fans to support them, too.  So help Warwick and Dan get their work out there.  Donate to the Kickstarter!  Like them on Facebook!  So that they too can have fans!!

Oh, who am I kidding!?  I can only be generous for so long before turning back to shamless self-promotion.  Like me on Facebook!  I want ALL THE FANS!!

Cosplay Envy: Kitty Young (Again!)

I've featured the unfairly gorgeous Kitty Young before.

Then this morning she totally upped the ante with these teasers for some new cosplay.

Death from Neil Gaiman's Sandman.  Not only a formative set of comics for the young Fake Geek Girl, but also one of my fave characters EVAR.

And that tattoo choker!  Remember those?

Seriously.  Check this hottie.

Do people care about Sandman anymore?  Other than me?  Last year, Mattel released an SDCC exclusive figure of Death, and no one seemed to care!

Everyone was in line for Derpy Hooves.  Don't get me wrong, I love me some Derpy.  But who is a better role model for the ladies--a totally cool chick with a great attitude OR a clumsy pony with a lazy eye?

[via Facebook]

Cosplay Envy: 50s-Style Wonder Woman and Blackhawk

Take it away, ladies!

[via Fashionably Geek]

Star Trek: Into Smoky Eye

Y'all, I totes found my new going out look.

 

[via Geekologie]

Sweet Vid: Janelle Monáe feat Eykah Badu

Scifi soul goddess Janelle Monáe joins forces with music superheroine Eykah Badu to create "Q.U.E.E.N."

BEHOLD, MERE MORTALS!

[via The Hairpin]

Sweet Vid: Kiss Me, Sexy Klingon

Sixpence None the Richer's "Kiss Me".

In Klingon.

You're welcome.

This begs for an entire Klingon She's All That.  Anyone fluent in Klingon?  How do you say "Be silent, be still"?

[via The Mary Sue]

Cosplay Envy: Marceline Double Shot

Little Marceline and Big Marceline!

And a bonus Ice King!!!

[Twinzik Cosplay via io9]

My New Workout

2013 will mark my third year attending San Diego ComicCon, and there's only about 4 weeks to go!!

omgsoexcitedwhenithinkaboutit

Despite the popular complaints--too mainstream, too crowded, too big--I have never not had fun.  Even that very first year, when I wasn't ready for the marathon.  I got a cold, drank too much during a delicious dinner (which was the first real meal of the day), and fell asleep during a midnight showing of Captain America.

Never again.

And now I can guarantee that "never."  Over at Geek With Curves, the always enjoyable Amy Ratcliffe has a wonderful fitness routine that will get me ready for The Wrath of the Con.

[via Geek With Curves]

High School Never Ends

Truly, we are all the same losers we were in our teen years.  That means that those senior quotes--remember those!?--actually do say something about who we are right now.

Mine was Shakespeare:  "We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little life is rounded with a sleep."  LAME.

Jessica Lee is not lame.  High school yearbooks don't let you swear, so Ms. Lee here found another way to sneak her Notorious B.I.G. philosophy in.

Need help?  [I did.]

(F) flourine

(U) uranium

(C) carbon

(K) potassium

(Bi) bismuth

(Tc) technetium

(He) helium

(S) sulfur

(Ge) germanium

(Tm) thulium

(O) oxygen

(Ne) neon

(Y) yttrium

She is cooler than any of us will ever be.

Though this only comes in second in the Best Senior Quotes contest.  The blue ribbon goes to my dear friend Justin, who summed up high school in the best way possible:

"Thank you Mario! But our princess is in another castle!"

[via I Fucking Love Science]

Want of the Week: The Most Emo Doctor Who Sweater

Are you feeling angsty?

Are you considering dying your hair black to reflect the darkness in your heart/soul?

Are you currently listening to Bright Eyes?  Or perhaps some classic Tori Amos?

Well, have I got the shirt for you!!

See, now, if you weren't sad before, you are now.  Go cry into your fez.

[Go Get Your Geek On via Geeky Merch]

Honest Disney Movie Titles

In our age of trend pieces, the Princess Problem is oh-so-popular.  My experience has taught me that something that's popular is something that's worthwhile, so of course I want to weigh in on the debate!

Now, since I'm a lady, I don't have many opinions of my own.  Luckily, The FW has created these honest Disney movie posters, one of which perfectly expresses my philosophy:

Makeovers do fix everything!!

#RealTalk, though.  If a little girl wants to like princesses, let her like princesses!  If a little boy wants to like princesses, well then Disney aisle, here we come!  But if your little girl wants a Tonka Truck and some Hot Wheels, so what?

Some girls are princesses.  Some girls are warriors.  Some girls are warrior princesses.

And some girls are queens and some are witches and some are courtesans.  And astronauts and actresses and sergeants and psychologists and designers and dreamers and.... There are as many "ands" as there are girls.  We only run into obstacles when we force "not" into the list.

Enough talk!  Let's look at more pictures!!

[The FW via Geeks Are Sexy]

And We're Back!

Okay, who else remembers this movie?

Friends, nerds, countrymen!

I've been absent for a bit!  First, I was busy being a Real Actress, then I got sick, so essentially I'm just like Satine.

To make it up to you, I'm going to be doing double--sometimes triple--the posts this week.

Aren't you a lucky bunch?

Sunday Mixtape: Edition The First

Welcome to the first installment of Sunday Mixtape!

Disclaimer: not an actual mixtape.

It's a mix of all the stuff I saw on the Internet this week that I didn't have time to write about, but still want to share.

• Superhero-themed Eye Makeup Designs

• The beauteous Karen Gillan has been cast as a villain in Guardians of the Galaxy.  [Resisting the urge to make a joke with the phrase "Karen Villain."]

• Joss Whedon wants more lady superheroes:  "Toymakers will tell you they won’t sell enough, and movie people will point to the two terrible superheroine movies that were made and say, You see? It can’t be done. It’s stupid..."
• The editor of the SFWA Bulletin has stepped down amid mucho DRAMA re: sexism and male contributors being d-bags.
• Speaking of sexism: "The people attending, on the other hand, were Not Comfortable With The Way I Chose to Present. I felt like they really, really wanted me to go back to my room and change into a long, historically accurate, shapeless Medieval dress. Or jeans and a geek t-shirt. Either would be acceptable: not too aggressively feminine, but not dressed nicely enough to make them nervous they were being invaded by mundanes."
• Finally, people who are Doing It Right:  these lady heroes want to inspire teenage girls to be who they are and not be totally mean.

• Tiny Batgirl

• Nerdy Lady Icons as saints.  I kinda want some of these as tattoos...

• And, in conclusion, Captain America: The Hottest Avenger

Want of the Week: Harry Potter Party Pack

Much like the Venga Boys, I like to party.  I like, I like to party.

So imagine my delight when I discovered this "Polyjuice" flask!

Sippin' on polyjuice

So I got to thinking.  [A dangerous pastime, I know.]  If I were to carry a polyjuice flask, why not have a whole Harry Potter-themed party outfit!?

We'll start with undies and a bra.

And how about skinny jeans a tank top.  Or, you know, just skip the pants, like this model did!

And how about some high heels, cause it's a party!

Don't forget the jewelry!

Never forget the jewelry.

Oh, and when I'm stepping out on the porch, I'll never be cold!

 

 



Game of Thrones: Also for Girls!

Okay, real talk.

There has been a lot of talk about Game of Thrones and its portrayal of women.  This started as soon as the first boob-filled episode aired, but has intensified since a certain Westeros-shattering event occured. [Spoilers at the link, obvi.]

Many sources have weighed in on the Lady Issue.  In a much-read and oft-quoted New York Times review from shortly after the first episode aired, Ginia Bellefante expressed disgust at the blatant eroticism:

The true perversion, though, is the sense you get that all of this illicitness has been tossed in as a little something for the ladies, out of a justifiable fear, perhaps, that no woman alive would watch otherwise. While I do not doubt that there are women in the world who read books like Mr. Martin’s, I can honestly say that I have never met a single woman who has stood up in indignation at her book club and refused to read the latest from Lorrie Moore unless everyone agreed to “The Hobbit” first. “Game of Thrones” is boy fiction patronizingly turned out to reach the population’s other half.

Ginia, you obviously haven't met my book club.

More recently, Renata Sellitti's inflammatory "Why Girls Hate Game of Thrones" gave us such gems as:  "It reminds us of the kids that used to play magic cards in the cafeteria. And people who go to Renaissance festivals."

To be noted:  "used to play magic cards in the cafeteria" has just turned into "currently playing Magic in my living room."

To also be noted:  The teacher I had a crush on in high school was the faculty sponsor for the Magic: The Gathering club.  Yes.  We had that club.

As you can imagine, Sellitti's piece rallied the troops.

Every Girl Who Enjoys Game of Thrones took to the Internet to proclaim that, NAY, PEASANTS!  In truth, ladies love Game of Thrones.

Most articles I've read focus on debunking stereotypes.  NOT ME, YOU WHORES!  I want to talk about all the reasons a girly girl like yours truly would TOTES HEART Game of Thrones.

[I know it sounds like I'm making fun, but that is seriously how I talk.  Should I question my life choices?]

5.  Not Reading

Lady brains are too lazy for anything except, like, Marie Claire.  [And even then, sometimes those Super Big Ass Fashion Issues are heftier then a Russian classic.]

You know what's a lot easier than reading five 1000+-page books?  Watching TV!!

And, once you start, the show makes it pretty hard for us to stop watching.

They open with DAT THEME SONG!

Then the show part of the show starts, and you get all the best of everything.

Design?  Oh, yeah, they got that on lock.

Writing?  You better believe it!

Baelish:  Do you know what the realm is?  It's the thousand blades of Aegon's enemies, a story we agree to tell each other over and over until we forget that it's a lie.  Varys:  But what do we have left once we abandon the lie?  Chaos, a gaping pit, waiting to swallow us all.  Baelish:  Chaos isn't a pit, chaos is a ladder.

AHHHHHHHHHH.

And the acting.  FOR THE LOVE OF THE SEVEN, THE ACTING!!!

So, really, why read?

4.  Relationship Drama

I heard that a certain beautiful blonde someone might be closer than usual with her brother.

I also heard that her not-so-beautiful husband is still totally sweet on his dead ex.

Oh, and I also heard that someone likes boys but totally pretends to like girls to keep up appearances.  But really he's TOTALLY IN LOVE with his girlfriend's brother!!

Dawson's?  No.  The OC?  Nope!  General Hospital?  All wrong!  IT'S ALL GAME OF THRONES!

XOXO,

Gossip Girl

3.  Outfits

Game of Thrones has fabulous costumes.

I mean, we can talk costume design, if you want.  Meticulous and creative.

How much brocade is too much?  If you ask Ser Loras, there is never enough brocade.

But, y'all, I'm just talking about the OUTFITS.  I want to wear them

The wealth of Highgarden wears only the hautest couture, dahling.

Cutouts. So hot for summer.

What I wouldn't give for gold dragon claw necklace!  Maybe for my first red carpet event?

2.  Man Candy

Now, something I love to talk about: BOYS!!  Like many who have gone before me and all those that will come after, I worship at the altar of the Men of Game of Thrones.

Let us pray:

And one more of Jaime Lannister because MOVE OVER CERSEI, THE KINGSLAYER IS MINE.

Oh, and if you're a lady who likes ladies, take a look at what's behind Door #2 (hint: IT'S LADIES):

1.  The Lady Characters

Now, I've read and watched a ton of fantasy #TrueConfessions

While reading or watching, I often find myself identifying with one or two characters more than the others.  Since I've been "gifted" with a certain intensity that can only be categorized as TOTES DORKY, it's not just, "I like Buffy."  No.  I am Buffy.  I am Laurana.  I am Eowyn.

It is almost impossible for me to say "I am [insert Game of Thrones character]."  George R.R. Martin and the rest of the writers room, the producers, and the actors have given me too many interesting, sympathetic, and engaging women to identify with!!  And the honesty of those characterizations speaks to the inherent feminism of the show.  Martin himself has said:

‘To me being a feminist is about treating men and women the same,' he said. ‘I regard men and women as all human - yes there are differences, but many of those differences are created by the culture that we live in, whether it's the medieval culture of Westeros, or 21st century western culture.'

And that's what I see while watching & reading.  I see people.  People who have real, relatable motivations, regardless of how much I agree or disagree with the actions borne out of those motivations.  People who are striving to make the best of whatever hand they've been dealt, regardless of whether their life has made them cruel or kind.  Or perhaps even cruel to be kind.  People who--male or female, magic or mundane--are so beautifully, terrifyingly human.

This is the first in my series on Game of Thrones.  Next up: “Jon Snow Is Not Your Boyfriend."